A good nursing dress is important to me, because, as you know, you might think you’ve found a quiet corner in which to nurse and hang out with your parrots, but it then it turns out there’s a German Renaissance painter there. #babyjesussideeye #featheryshoulderwhytho

It could be embarrassing. Well, not for you, of course. But it would be for me. So I’ve developed some strategies.

Any dress with a wrap front, or a crossover top, or a button front can work as a nursing dress, of course. Like these.

But if I wear one of those I like to do what you’ve done here, and add a scarf. #neckbreast #karatechopaction

But what *I’d* usually do is go with something opaque, more like what you’ve done here. #somuchloveforthesethighrolls #thisrogierdudeseemstohaveseenababybefore

I also like to wear a nursing camisole, like these, because tummy rolls are cuter on babies than mamas. And, looking at you, now I’m thinking I need to up my headband game.

These types of dresses are the most widely-available, since they’re not specifically nursing dresses. But overall, this isn’t my favorite style in which to breastfeed in public, since it leaves the top of the breast uncovered. Scarves are good, but can be foiled by wind and grabby babies.

A way to avoid that is to find a dress that opens in the bodice, but stays closed at the neck. Like you have here. #whentheneighborkidcannotbecoolaboutthis

The dresses I have of this type are specifically made for nursing, with zippers in the bodice (note: this particular dress works well for me, but the reviews indicate that it’s not a good choice for larger-breasted gals), or in the side seams (Update 2023: The dress originally linked here is no longer available, but this one is a similar one from the same brand), or with a split underbodice.

I do still usually wear a scarf with the zippered dresses, since if baby moves unexpectedly, there’s not a lot of backup coverage. #babyjesusdoingthethingwithhistoesthatnursingbabiesdo #andhesgotrubberbandwrist

Which brings me to my last type of nursing dress recommendation: the double-layer top. This type of dress has the functionality of a scarf built right in. Like so. #comeoninillbedowninaminute

That means I don’t need to bring an extra layer. These are my favorite as far as comfort and ease of use. I’ve got them in a tank style, and three-quarter sleeve, and a cute blousy top one that’s dressier.

The first two are stretch knit, and can end up a little loungy-looking. Not on you, of course. But I really find them to be the most discreet. Often regular folks don’t even notice that I’m nursing in them. #elbowbreast #didnotskiplegday edited to add: #?

I used to use a nursing cover, but I find those to be more attention-grabbing than scarves or double layer dresses. And I prefer to be able to see my baby’s face. You, more than literally anyone, know what I’m talking about there. My usual nursing situation is probably going to involve a moment or two of some exposure. I just try to be cool about it, and do my best, and hope that the people around me will be cool about it too, and avert their eyes for a sec. I figure that’s how manners work. It’s a two way street.

These dresses have allowed me to nurse comfortably and stylishly while at Mass, in the hospital, running errands, speaking at conferences, and waiting on television appearances. I’m actually nursing in all of these photos.

So, I can confidently recommend them to Our Lady’s consideration, and yours.

Nursing dresses: Do you love them or hate them? What are your favorites? Links, please!

Note: This iconography of Our Lady is known as Madonna Lactans or Nursing Madonna. Examples of this depiction of the Virgin Mary nursing the baby Jesus date from as early as the 12th century, and they became very popular in the Middle Ages. They were a marked departure from previous Madonna and Child images, that often presented Mary and Jesus dressed in royal regalia. Middle and upper class European women of the Middle Ages typically contracted breastfeeding out to wet nurses. To show Our Lady in ordinary clothing, nursing her own child, was a touching reminder of the poverty and humility of the Holy Family. #butsomeofthemlookweirdtho

The post Nursing Dresses I’m Recommending to the Virgin Mary (and you) appeared first on Catholic All Year.

It is with great joy and relief that we announce that we are expecting Tierney baby number ten in September, as I think we can all agree that nine is a very odd number of children to have.

I mean come on, Your Highness, get these kids under control. What are they even all looking at? It’s like a Fulwiler Christmas card photo or something. (Love you, Jen.)

Joking aside, I have to take a moment here to express my gratitude for how generous you have all been in the prayers that you’ve offered for our family over the past year. In fact, almost every day since May 31, 2018 someone has offered a Eucharistic Holy Hour for the intentions of our family (although . . . today appears to be available, maybe I’ll take today) Without going into too much detail for reasons I explained here, I will say that your prayers have been so helpful and meaningful to us. Thank you. The most remarkable part of this whole thing has been the fact that there have been really NO side effects from the treatment, or from the reason for the treatment. That in itself feels like a miracle. Keep up with updates here.

Back in the spring, when we first learned about all of this, the husband and I had a long talk together about what it would mean for the future of our family. I felt I had really learned a meaningful lesson about being open to life in the midst of challenging situations the last time we went through this, and I was pretty confident that I didn’t want to close the door to the possibility of more children on this account. He was supportive of my general worldview, but pointed out that there are a lot more, and more aware, people in our home these days that would be affected by this decision. My pregnancies have gotten much more difficult as I’ve gotten older. A lot of responsibility for the home and the younger kids falls on the older kids when I’m not at my most effective.

I knew he was right, so I decided to take the opportunity of a morning drive to school last May to lay all this out for the oldest three kids, who were 15, 14, and 12 at the time. They already knew the other stuff, of course. I tried to lay out my thoughts as honestly as possible. That we knew that this was a challenging time for our family, and that we didn’t know what the future would hold. That I understood that they already had a lot of responsibilities, more than most children their age. I knew that if we continued to be open to the possibility of another baby, we could end up in the situation of multiple adults feeling unwell, at least for a time. And we had to acknowledge the possibility that things could take a long-term bad turn. But also that fertility doesn’t last forever, and that, at 42, postponing another baby might mean no more babies at all, even if things go great on the other front. It was a whole long heartfelt speech.

I expected that Betty would be for it, and that Bobby wouldn’t really care either way. That’s kind of how they roll. But I didn’t know what to expect from Jack, our oldest. Like me, he does not have a natural inclination for selfless hard work on behalf of others (although he is miles and miles ahead of where I was at his age). He’s rather a pragmatist. I figured he’d need some time to process it all.

But, after a pause of about three seconds, Jack shrugged and said, “I like babies.”

The other two agreed, with enthusiasm, and that was that.

It was a beautiful thing. My mama heart still swells a bit remembering it.

Of course, that was May, and it wasn’t until Christmas Day that we found out about this new little peanut. I really felt (mostly) at peace about it that whole time, even though it was an unusually long spacing for us. I was more comfortable with the idea that we wouldn’t have more children if it wasn’t going to be the result of MY decision. My standard response when people would ask me how many kids I want to have, has been, “All of them.” Now I can still say that.

We’re all very excited, and the big kids are picking up the slack for me as they said they would. I usually get opposite-morning sickness, and that’s been the case this time around. I feel pretty good from 2am to 2pm and really NOT good from 2pm to 2am. So I just get up REALLY early and try to get things done before the kids wake up, we do our homeschool day, and then at naptime, I crash and may or may not come downstairs for dinner. But I’m thirteen weeks now, and feeling better, and usually the hardest part is over for me by fourteen or fifteen weeks. My plan is to not fall off a ladder and break my tailbone this pregnancy, which would make things easier than last time.

I’ll keep you posted!

In other news, here’s a little Lent reminder I posted on social media yesterday, in case you missed it there. Lent is just about as late as it can possibly be, but it will be here next week!

We’ve got an all new installment of the liturgical living video series that will publish later this week, but in the meantime here’s the Epiphany one, in which I show you our super easy fake King Cake. King Cake season ends on Fat Tuesday, so get one more in while you can!

See more on our family Fat Tuesday traditions here.

And, I’ve got an all new Printable Lent Set, about which I am VERY excited!

It’s pretty much my printable magnus opus , and includes:

• A Lent Clipart Countdown Calendar featuring medallions for Lenten weekdays and Sundays, special days, saints’ days, feasts, and fasting days
• A brief explanation of the symbols used on each medallion
• A sample mock-up arrangement of the clipart calendar, posters, and quotes
• A Lenten prayer, fasting, almsgiving poster
• Eight different Lent quotes from the Bible, the catechism, and the saints
• A group Voluntary Lenten Disciplines page for things a household or classroom are taking up or giving up together, in an example version (the one our family uses) and a blank version
• Individual Voluntary Lenten Discipline slips
• A Label and Instructions to make a Lenten Sacrifice Bean Jar

I’m hoping it will help a lot of folks dive into liturgical living this Lent.

Related Reading:

• The Catholic Mom Bundle Lent 2019
• Taking Up Something for Lent
• Lent Cometh: perhaps everything you’ll ever need to know to have the best Lent ever

The post All of Them, or: I Have an Announcement to Make appeared first on Catholic All Year.

We’re a week or two out from baby number eight. So I figured this would be a good time to catch you new folks up on the previous installments of Hey, Check it Out: I Had a Baby . . .

Birth Story #1, in which I puke in a bush

Birth Story #2, in which I don’t quite make it into the labor and delivery room

Birth Story #3, in which I give birth to the same baby twice

Birth Story Week: #4, in which me having a baby is the least of our worries

Birth Story #5, so, um . . . THAT was fast

Birth Story #6, in which it turns out I totally do NOT know what I’m doing

Birth Story #7: In Which THAT Is More Like it

A Pregnant Lady’s Thoughts on Suffering

So, if I can pray for you during
this labor, please leave a comment. It can be as specific or vague as
you’d like, God will know. You’re also welcome to email me at
helpdesk@catholicallyear.com if you prefer. And if you haven’t entered the baby pool, leave a comment over there too! Someone is going to win some great prizes, it might as well be you.

And now I’ll be getting back to regular posts, that are NOT all about how I’m going to have a baby soon. But, don’t worry, I’ll let you know when it happens. Probably via Facebook first, so if you haven’t liked the Catholic All Year Facebook page yet, now’s as good a time as any. Amirite?

The post A Birth Story Round Up, and the prayer request line is . . . OPEN appeared first on Catholic All Year.

13 For it was you who formed my inward parts;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
15     My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
    all the days that were formed for me,
    when none of them as yet existed.

What a crazy and extraordinary thing to get to be a part of.

For some more of my reflections on being pregnant, check out . . . 

A Pregnant Lady’s Thoughts on Suffering

Pregnancy Survival Secrets from a Grand Multigravida

Hey America, Pregnancy: You’re Doing it Wrong

 

The post The Thing About Being Pregnant: Summer of Psalms appeared first on Catholic All Year.

Well, I don’t expect to be able to compete with Betty’s capsule wardrobe, obviously. But I said I’d share mine, too. And so I shall.

The main concern I hear from readers who are interested in trying a capsule wardrobe, is that they couldn’t manage it because of the whole motherhood cycle so many of us are in. I never can say for sure what size I’ll be a few months from now. But, for me, that’s a strength, rather than a limitation, of the capsule wardrobe.

Having a closet crammed full of clothes that I can’t wear is just plain depressing. Having a small, specialized selection of items that work for me right now with the body and life I have right now is empowering and makes it a lot easier to find something to wear each morning. I’m totally sold on it.

I’m planning on sticking with it long term, doing three different capsule wardrobes per year, storing things I’m not using now but will use again, and donating the rest. But I have to admit that I was a bit concerned about this particular go round. I wanted to switch my wardrobe over for Easter and use it until the weather cools down in the fall. However, there’s the little matter of me having a baby right smack in the middle of that window.

But I do like a challenge. I’m twenty-five weeks along right now, and I think I’ve come up with forty items that will fit for the next fifteen weeks or so of pregnancy, and the squishy few weeks after that. I figure by sometime in September I’ll be ready for pants that button. And aside from a few of the dresses, I’ll be able to nurse in all of it as well.

Even pregnant, the majority of my wardrobe is not maternity clothes. I do have some maternity items, jeans, and a couple dresses, but I really prefer to shop at regular stores, just with an eye for stuff that will work for me pregnant or not. (I know not everyone can do that, but it has worked for me.) My favorite stores are Anthropologie (especially the little back room of sale stuff) and modCloth, I love the whole whimsy/retro vibe they have going. I also find things at Target or on Amazon, and used from thredUP. (They have maternity clothes now!) Here’s a closer look at everything in my closet right now . . .

Links are affiliate links, clicking through and/or shopping through these links helps support this blog at no cost to you. So, thanks!

Red/orange tunic, from J Crew, many years ago, but here’s something similar.
Red stripe tunic, modCloth.
Chambray crossover shirt, Gap via thredUP.
Green shirt and ivory lace shirt are both many years old, from Anthropologie.

Fake layered top was from Costco.
White high-low tunic, from Amazon
.
Green crossover top, modCloth.
Blue and teal maternity tops are from Target over the past couple pregnancies.
Red tank, modCloth.
Gray top, modCloth.

Maternity jeans and khaki cargo shorts, Pea in the Pod via thredUP.
Maternity crops, old from Old Navy and Target.
Khaki high waist skirt, from Amazon.
Navy crop leggings, modCloth.

Knit jacket, thredUP.
Embroidered cardigan, modCloth.
Paris sweater, from Amazon
.
Orange sweater, found here.
Navy shrug, from Motherhood Maternity.
White cardigan, modCloth.

Blue knit dress, and red/gray knit dress, Target.
Navy eyelet dress, Motherhood Maternity.
Denim dress, eShakti.
Apple dress, found here.
Denim dress, green maternity dress.
Knit and lace dress, modCloth.

Patent leather sandals, Payless.
Metallic flats, Easy Spirit via Amazon
.
Fringe wedge sandals, Minnetonka via Amazon
.
Navy wedge espadrilles Kenneth Cole via Amazon
.
Gladiator sandals Steve Madden via Amazon
.
Old lady yellow dress sandals (SO comfy), Miz Mooz via Amazon
.
Red suede espadrilles (also very comfy), Miz Mooz via Amazon
.
Blue running shoes.

And here’s how it all goes together (mad props to my favorite eleven year old photographer) . . .

And . . . that’s what I’ll be wearing for the next four months. Including the New York secretary sneakers with a dress thing AND the leggings as pants thing.

Related reading . . .

On Not Wearing Maternity Clothes 

and more on Capsule Wardrobes . . . 

Shopping for ‘Tweens in Three Steps, and Betty’s Capsule Wardrobe

An Inspired Capsule Wardrobe

The Capsule Wardrobe Post In Which I Show You ALL My Clothing, ‘Cause That’s Totally Not Weird

The post Here We Go Again: a Spring/Summer, Maternity/Postpartum/Nursing Capsule Wardrobe appeared first on Catholic All Year.

illustration from Richard Scarry’s Best Mother Goose Ever

Question:

Kendra, 

I know you’re all pregnancy icky, so you’re probably not the person to complain to, but I need some advice. I’m 10 weeks pregnant with baby 5, and my oldest is 6. We homeschool and they’re always here. I don’t have family nearby and my husband frequently works until they’re in bed (at 7. I just can’t with any later.) I’m getting along ok in the mornings, and doing school and getting supper in the crock pot sometimes, but after nap I’m just shot. I feel like death, if death is nauseated. There’s nothing particular wrong, so I feel bad telling them I can’t read to them, and I wish I wasn’t just waiting for bedtime, but it’s like they expect me to be emotionally available! I held on all morning, I don’t know what to do the rest of the day.

I’ve just been feeling very guilty. There isn’t anything ridiculously wrong with me (except I feel terrible) and I feel like I should push through, and then I can’t. And I want them to leave me alone without giving them expectations.

I think it’s possible the only solution to this problem is “wait 5 weeks,” but I feel terrible – emotionally, I mean. (Physically too.) I’m only passively sick, and they’re just little kids who love me, but the last month has just worn me out. Is there a way around this?

Thanks,
Amanda

Answer: 

Hey Amanda,

I’m just the person to complain to, believe me. I’m right here with you, unfortunately. That’s how my “morning” sickness manifests as well. I’m usually better in the mornings and we get school done, then I need a nap, then I just hang in there through the afternoons and evenings. I either crash right after little kid bedtimes, or if I can stick it out, I start feeling better again around ten pm and can get a few things done before I go to bed.

It’s not ideal, certainly.

But, it’s for a good cause. There are three main ways we try to manage morning sickness with older siblings.

1. We Guide How They Experience These Changes

With some guidance, a sick mom can be an opportunity for even little kids to grow in empathy and self-reliance. My own pregnancies have really run the gauntlet, from almost no symptoms at all (Gus, Lulu), to manageable morning sickness (Jack, Betty, Bobby), to challenging nausea and fatigue (Anita, whoever this baby is), to six months of sickness and mental fog and days that I could hardly remember (Frankie). But ever since we’ve had kids old enough to listen, my husband has been really great about helping the kids to guide how they kids experience mom being sick.

I think the key is helping kids see it as an opportunity, rather than as a burden. My husband tells the kids, “The baby is making mommy feel sick and tired, and she needs YOUR help.” My kids love stuff like that. Even the little ones like to feel important and necessary.

Necessity is the mother of invention, as they say, but it’s also the mother of responsibility. Your kids will become more responsible because they MUST. With some family rules in place, even kids six and under can learn to get snacks for themselves and entertain themselves for the couple of hours a day when you feel the worst.

2. We Plan Ahead if Necessary

We hit school hard in the mornings, because that’s when I feel the best. Then I’m often MIA back in my room all afternoon because I feel terrible, I drag myself in to make and eat dinner, and then evenings are hit or miss for me. Sometimes I’m good, sometimes I’m bad. Things work better when I am on top of things in the morning, and don’t waste those precious hours. So I try to know what I’m making for dinner, and (like you said) getting something made ahead of time is really brilliant. I try to have stuff available for the kids to do that they can manage themselves if I’m not fit for duty in the afternoons, like play dough or washable paints or sticker books. We have hard and fast rules governing the uses of those items. They only get one “special” thing out at a time, it has to be done at the kitchen counter, etc. That way, there are things to keep them occupied besides screens. Mostly, even with me feeling barfy, we don’t do screens during the day.

BUT, really, I have that luxury because I have big kids who can help supervise the little kids. When my oldest was six, my kids watched a lot more TV than they do now. If that’s where you are, I would NOT sweat it. I think moms should look at screens as a tool in the toolbox. Use it when you need it, just remember that YOU can stop it anytime you want. As soon as YOU don’t need it, you can go back to regular kid afternoon activities like crafts and books and playing outside. Yes, your kids will be used to getting to watch a show in the afternoon. Yes, they will protest. But they’ll get over it.

3. We Don’t Make it a Bigger Deal Than it Is

Kids are really suggestible, I find. If you think they are being damaged by getting less of your attention and energy for a few months, they might pick up on that. But if you’re not worried about it, they probably won’t be either. That’s how it’s been at our house anyway. Say you don’t read them ANY books at all for the next two months. Say they watch more movies than they usually would. And eat more macaroni and cheese. What then?

Probably nothing.

Because soon, you’ll feel better and things will go back to normal and they won’t even remember those few months when mom was sleepy and barfing a lot.

I had a really, really rough pregnancy with my sixth baby. I was in a fog of fatigue and nausea day and night for nearly six months. It was all I could do to sit at the school table with the kids in the morning and grunt at them. My other kids were 9, 8, 6, 4, and 2 at the time. And, ya know what, I don’t think they remember it at all. Things went back to our normal, they got their regular mom back, we went back to our regular routine. I’ve mostly blocked it out myself. So I think the husband is the only one who remembers it, poor thing. :0) (Also, he proofread this for me, and says I have it all wrong on which babies made me the sickest, but I’m just going to figure it doesn’t really matter and go to bed.)

Anyway, people make sacrifices for things that are important. That’s what you’re doing, that’s what your kids are doing. Any lessening of the standard of mothering to which they have become accustomed that they might be experiencing right now, will be more than made up for by a childhood (and a lifetime) of having another sibling. They’ll also gain some self-reliance, and some empathy, which I think are good things too. And even if mom is unavailable for a time because of injury or surgery or illness that’s not related to a new baby, it’s still a chance for kids to grow, and to think of the needs of someone else.

So . . . mostly, I’d just say that you are doing the best you can in the accomplishment of something that is good and that will benefit your kids in the long term, so just try to cut yourself some slack and don’t feel guilty. Easier said than done, I know, but if you know intellectually that you shouldn’t feel guilty, and I think you do, then just keep reminding yourself of that, and hopefully your emotions will catch up at some point.

As for how to get the point across to your kids, I’d attack it in two ways. First, I do think this is particularly effective coming from dad, and being addressed to all the kids but to the oldest couple in particular. I think it’s worth asking your husband to help you with this. He can talk to the kids often, maybe even every morning as he’s leaving, or every night before they go to bed and remind them that since he’s not home during the day, he needs THEM to help mommy because she’s not feeling well right now because of the new baby.

Also (or if dad’s not available to help, just) remind them yourself. I tell my kids, “Once is telling me, twice is complaining.” So, ideally, I just tell them once, and not in a yelling, or whining, or threatening, or accusing way, just in a very straightforward, matter-of-fact way, “Mommy does not feel well because of the baby. I have to take a rest. If you need something, you’ll have to ask your sister or brother.” I think the whining, accusing, yelling stuff comes in as a result of us feeling guilty and lashing out because of that. But if you can convince yourself that it’s okay for you to rest in the afternoons and not get people snacks, then you’ll be able to be firm about it in a non-defensive way. I have set rules about what afternoon snacks kids are allowed to have, they are in a place the kids can reach them, they know about reasonable serving sizes, and about asking a big kid for help. I mean what I say and am consistent, so they mostly understand that if I say I’m not available to help, then I’m really not. They do still come in to my room and wake me up with ridiculous tattles and requests sometimes, because they’re . . . kids. But, mostly, it works.

Hang in there. I hope you’ll be better very soon! And me. I hope I will also be all better soon. That would be great.

Cheers,
Kendra

p.s. I’m sure my lovely readers have some perspective/advice/battle-stories to share, so I look forward to reading the comments on this one.

Mailbag Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You’re thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I’m not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I’m just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.

If you’ve got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.

The post Mothering and Morning Sickness . . . at the same time appeared first on Catholic All Year.

When Santa Punched a Heretic in the Face: 13 Memes on St. Nicholas

We put our shoes out Thursday night for St. Nicholas.

I’ve noticed some concern on facebook about how to deal with the St. Nicholas/December 6th vs Santa Claus/December 25th thing. 

There are of course lots of different ways to do it, but here’s what we do: the names St. Nicholas and Santa Claus are interchangeable. After all, one is just a translation of the other. Since Santa is a saint, he lives in Heaven with Jesus, but he has a workshop located at the North Pole, which is where the elves live and work. He comes around for everyone on December 25th, to celebrate Jesus’ birthday, but for families who are WAITING and observing advent, he also comes by on December 6th, just for an attaboy. ‘Cause he’s cool like that.

We put out shoes and the kids get a couple of pieces of candy and a small toy. And this year a book, because our collection needed work.

Speaking of books, we have The Baker’s Dozen, which is a great St. Nicholas story (the kindle version
is only a penny today!), and The Miracle of St. Nicholas, which is a great story, but not about St. Nicholas, but I always read The Legend of St. Nicholas (available online at St. Nicholas Center) to the kids on St. Nicholas Day, because I love me some old timey kids stories wherein little boys who wander off against the rules get chopped up and put in a barrel. Pay attention children.

Don’t worry, there’s a happy ending. And if you’ve ever wondered why St. Nicholas holy cards include three naked little boys in a barrel, this will explain it.

Well, not quite, but . . .

I have tried not to write this. I have spent all week trying not to write this. But then I read Micaela’s birth story and I MUST WRITE IT. 

It is a MIRACLE that I have never punched a labor and delivery nurse. A MIRACLE I tell you. I have had seven babies in three different hospitals in two states and have only had ONE nurse who didn’t deserve a sock in the jaw. 

I honestly believe that you must be a decent and caring person to want to go into nursing at all. And I have encountered plenty of nurses in other settings who seem to have a perfectly human regard for others. But if you put one in the labor and delivery ward she immediately turns into a prison matron. Only meaner.

My labor and delivery nurses have been dismissive and condescending and fear-mongering and bossy. It always takes my OB coming in to overrule them so I can do things like . . . walk around, or drink things, or not drink things.

Then once the baby comes the baby nurse swoops in to bruskly remove the baby from my incompetent arms and detail all the ways that raising babies properly has changed in the last two years, while the other lady jabs repeatedly me in the stomach for my own good.

Imma let you in on a little secret, learned at great personal cost: the answer to the question: “How long did baby nurse?” is: “Fifteen minutes on each side.” This is the answer you must give. There are no other acceptable answers. It doesn’t matter if you have exclusively breastfed seven babies and feel that what works for you to to let baby nurse to sleep on one side, then switch to the other next time. That is NOT an approved answer. This is a Catholic blog, but if you ever want the baby nurse to leave and let you sleep, YOU MUST LIE. That’s all there is to it. She is the Red Queen. All ways are her ways. And if you ever want to get that blood pressure cuff off you better tell her what she wants to hear.

like it? buy it here!

I have had one super sweet labor and delivery nurse, when I had Frankie. I’m pretty sure she was new. I can only imagine she was severely reprimanded for leaving us pretty much to our own devices to have the baby. But we sure did appreciate it.

Anyway, I haven’t punched anyone yet, but probably only because the husband knows better than to leave me alone with them.

Violent mob of topless pro-abort feminists attacks praying men defending cathedral

I’ve seen you on Facebook, and I know you want to punch anyone who has ever written Xmas. But perhaps you’ve been too hasty?

An interesting read at Mentalfloss: 

Lots of people think that the X in Xmas is a secular watering down of the word Christ. You know, a “we love to celebrate the holiday but don’t believe in Jesus” sort of thing. However, that’s not the origin of the X.

The X actually comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of Χρήστος. And if that’s all Greek to you, Χρήστος, of course, means Christ.

According to Etymology Online, the abbreviation dates back to 1551, when it appeared as X’temmas. Around 1100, the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle used Xres mæsse, where Xp- or Xr- corresponded to “Chr.”

So . . . simma down Facebook. Simma down.

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p.s. That Christmas Novena Booklet I tried to make for you guys has been punching ME in the face. But I think I finally have it sorted out. (I hope!) Anyway, I put the whole thing into a word document, and made THAT a pdf, and when I print it out on my printer I can select the “booklet” option, and it works. Here’s the new one. Please let me know if it’s still not working for you and I’ll try again.


Here’s what it would look like if I were a cupcake and was punching it back:

The post Because Sometimes Folks Just Need to Get Punched: 7 Quick Takes XXXVII appeared first on Catholic All Year.

Having big kids around sure makes a difference. They were able to be in charge of things in the afternoons, so I could always nap. And Betty even made dinner a few times when I just wasn’t feeling up to it. Ten year olds for the win!

By Monday evening I figured it just wasn’t going to happen in time for Uncle Pat and Aunt Brie to be here, and I wrote a post about how I wasn’t in labor yet and set it to publish at midnight and went to take a quick bath and get some sleep. But THAT turned into a long bath and drying my hair and watching just ONE episode of Battlestar Galactica (a little racy, but really interesting so far) and I didn’t end up turning out the lights until a bit after midnight.

At first the nurse wouldn’t let me leave the room (grrrr) so I ended up just walking and walking and walking in these ridiculous laps around the bed and bathroom and curtain in the room. (While Betty took a nap on the little couch.) Finally my OB intervened and got them to let me out, and I tell you what, I was THRILLED to see that ridiculous cabbage baby. Thrilled.

At about 3:45am they hooked me back up to the machine that goes ping and they said I was having contractions every 2-5 minutes, but I wasn’t even feeling all of them. Then my OB came back in to check me again. She said it felt like the baby’s head was just a bit off center, and not applying full pressure the way it should be, so she had me lay on my side and shifted baby’s head over a bit with her fingers, and then all of a sudden my water broke and I immediately started having these two minute long crazy contractions one on top of the other, and in the words of my all time favorite children’s book, “There were sounds: sad sounds, loud sounds.”

I’ve said it before, but I really hate the pushing part. It just feels like it couldn’t possibly work. But my OB and my husband are both awesome at encouraging me through it and reminding me that if I just do it, it will all be over that much sooner. And at that point I’m pretty much out of it anyway. So I pushed really hard three or four times and out she came, looking right at Betty!

I was so impressed with Betty (who will be 10 in February) by the way, she was totally calm and interested throughout and not troubled by the craziness. We had talked about how mommy would be in pain, but it was okay, and she believed us. I’m so happy that I was able to share this experience with my daughter. She even got to cut the cord, although I think she’d tell you that was her least favorite part of the whole thing. It is kind of bloody and gross.

My parents and all the kids and Aunt Brie and Uncle Pat were all able to come to the hospital and meet little Louise Marita first thing in the morning. Everyone was so excited to meet our new baby. 

So it’s Tuesday night, still November 26th, as I write this. We have brought Lulu home to her adoring public, and I’m feeling good, if pretty beat up about the nethers. Fortunately I have plenty of helpers, because it’s going to be a mostly sitting in the glider Thanksgiving for me.

November 25
Late morning- early afternoon
4 hr labor
Girl
7lb 4oz

Baby GIRL (because I like to even up the numbers)
Born 1 day before her due date
Born in the morning
After a short labor (2.5 hours?)

I’m going to guess November 26th, 4:30pm (after 6 hours of labor) – Girl 7 lbs. 13 oz.

Nov 26 (my birthday)
3pm
4 hours long
8 lbs 3 oz
girl

The post Birth Story #7: In Which THAT Is More Like it appeared first on Catholic All Year.

Louise Marita Tierney!

I wrote up my last post about how <sigh> I hadn’t gone into labor yet and set it to post at midnight, then I went to bed and started having contractions at 12:18!

Birth story to follow sometime after we get home, but the facts are she was born on November 26 at 4:17am, after a mostly very easy (then really, really hard for a bit) labor. She’s our second biggest baby ever at 8lbs 12oz (Bobby was 9lbs 1oz) and is second only to Betty in the hair department.

She is named for St. Louise de Marillac and our dear neighbor Louise, who passed away last spring. Her middle name is for her paternal grandmother. We’re going to call her Lulu for short, except for Frankie. Frankie is going to call her Baby Uhweeze.

The rest of the kids have all been over to the hospital twice today.

Betty was with us for the birth, and loved it. She really did great.

Lulu is nursing like a little champ and has passed all the tests they keep coming in here to do to her, so we’re on track to be home by this evening.

Thank you all for sharing your intentions with me. I offered my labor especially for people suffering from infertility and miscarriages, plus for the other specific intentions. I’m also using them as my inspiration to be pleasant to all these meddlesome, I mean . . . helpful nurses. Thank you for your prayers for my family.

And someone is going to win a cookbook, I will announce the winner later this week!

The post Introducing . . . appeared first on Catholic All Year.

Need to catch up? Here are birth story #1, birth story #2, birth story #3, birth story #4, and birth story #5. 

And, finally (for now), here’s birth story number six:

So, by the time baby number six was on the way, I thought I knew everything there was to know. But, of course, that was before I knew Frankie.

My pregnancy with Anita had been my hardest so far. I had made the jump with that one from mostly just nausea to actual throwing up, a couple of times a week, for a little past the first trimester. So I thought I knew what a “challenging” pregnancy was like. 

But I did not. 

During my pregnancy with Frankie I threw up at least once per day, nearly every day, for a little over six months. I know some of you have had it way worse than that, and God Bless ya, because, whew, what I had was certainly bad enough for me. I was able to get the kids through their school days, I prepared our meals, but I felt like I was underwater. I was functioning, but not really engaged with the world.

But the third trimester was okay, and as my due date approached my main concern became whether the husband would be able to make it home in time to get me to the hospital if I went into labor during the day. We’re in LA after all, famed for its traffic, and my husband drives all over town for work. My previous labor had lasted an hour and a half, and it could easily take him longer than that to get home during rush hour.

In keeping with my policy of not making a fuss, I would be much more likely to attempt to drive myself to the hospital or just make my nine year old deliver the baby than call an ambulance.

None of my previous labors had been quite textbook, but they had all progressed in a predictable way. So when I woke up in the middle of the night on the 24th of October, with that tightness that I had learned was what my contractions feel like in the first stage, I figured I was having a baby that day.

I got up and did some tidying and answered some emails and watched an episode of Downton Abbey. A half an hour passed, and an hour, and an hour and a half, and not only had I not had a baby yet, I hadn’t even had a contraction yet.

It felt like at the beach, when the ocean gathers up the water from the shore, gathers and gathers it until, boom, another wave crashes down. But all I had was the gathering, never the wave. So, eventually, I went back to bed.

In the morning things still hadn’t really started, so I sent the husband off to work. Usually he knows better than to listen to me, but really, I hadn’t even had a contraction, so off he went. And all day, nothing really happened. Or that night.

It was nuts. I had heard plenty of stories about women having super long labors, but wasn’t that always with the first baby? Who ever heard of being in labor for two days with your sixth?

But that’s what happened. I sent the husband off to work again the next morning and sat down to do school with the kids, resigned now to the fact that I was never EVER going to have this baby and all I would ever have were these weird almost contractions and I would just be pregnant forever.

I was so convinced of it that I didn’t even really notice through the day as the contractions did slowly start to be the real thing. I do remember sitting there at the school table helping Jack with his math . . . with my eyes closed. 

“Are you okay Mom?” 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I just . . . Need. You. To. Finish. Your. School. Week.”

By the time the husband got home from work that evening I was totally in labor, but still somehow wasn’t consciously aware of it. I was making spaghetti for dinner. He thought maybe I should call my doctor and check in.

So I did. As I answered her questions on the phone, I realized that it did kinda seem like I was in labor. So I told her that I just needed to finish up making dinner, then we’d head in. She thought that was pretty hilarious.

She still brings it up sometimes, actually. Apparently it is atypical to finish up making dinner first. But that’s what I did.

And even when we got to the hospital, I didn’t want to go inside yet, because I wanted to be able to walk around without being hooked up to a lot of stuff. So I asked the husband to drop me off out front while he parked the car. But by time he got back to me from the parking lot walking around outside sounded like the worst idea I had ever heard and, frankly, I was surprised he could even suggest such a thing.

So in we went. But even though I knew the contractions were the real thing now, the whole labor was still a bit lackadaisical. We were in the delivery room, I was all hooked up to the stuff, I was having real contractions, but the husband and I were still able to joke around in between them.

We walked some laps around the hospital, where I got to enjoy this photograph over and over again:

“But wait!” you say. “Didn’t you say there was a black and white picture of a baby in some cabbages that bugged you at the hospital in Chicago?” Um, yes I did say that. But according to my husband (and his stupid iPhone photo evidence to prove it), that picture is not in Chicago, nor is it in black and white, and I don’t think those are actually cabbages. Which begs the question why I think I can write these birth stories at all if that’s the kind of accuracy you’re going to get out of me. But hey, it’s the last one (until it isn’t) so let’s just ignore this incident and keep on with it shall we?

My labor and delivery nurse was young and expecting her first baby. She kept coming in to say things like how “cool” she thought it was that we had so many kids. And how she couldn’t believe that we were talking and stuff during labor. She was so cute.

But eventually, after over 50 hours of the dumbest labor ever, Frankie was born. He was 7 lbs 5 oz, my littlest baby.

And he was born before bedtime, so my parents were able to bring all the kids over to meet him that very night.

About 30 seconds after they handed him to me, there was a huge commotion outside my room and everyone went running out there. Apparently the next gal hadn’t quite made it to the room and gave birth halfway in and halfway out of the elevator. While being held up under the arms by her husband. I could hear them shouting, just put her down, put her down!

Which just goes to show that I don’t really have any good birth stories after all. But hey, there’s always this next one.

Stay tuned . . . 

The post Birth Story Week: #6, in which it turns out I totally do NOT know what I’m doing appeared first on Catholic All Year.